Great Things Ahead (and behind)

Last Friday night I found out that I'll be serving in Eureka for at least a few more weeks. I'm happy I'll be here for a while more. I love the wonderful people I've been able to meet. They will be my friends forever. I've also had some interesting experience here. I think one of my favorites was when Sister Nestman and I were walking in Old Town on our preparation day and we saw a sign for a "Glass Blowing" shop, we thought, "Cool glass blown stuff, lets check it out"...bad idea. I was a different kind of "blowing" shop. We quickly left. These past weeks in Eureka I have learned so much about myself and about Heavenly Father. This is the place where, in mission lingo, I was born. I think I'll always have a tender spot in my heart for Eureka.

On the first day in Santa Rosa before I knew, really anything, about the mission, let alone where I was going to serve first, we were shown a sideshow with pictures from around the mission. I remember seeing the pictures of Eureka and thinking, "That would be a good place to go." In all truthfulness, pretty much from the night before (when I couldn't fall asleep), to arriving from the training center at the airport (where I realized that I would have to talk to and teach real people not just my peers and teachers), and then coming to Santa Rosa (and discovering I had not idea what I was doing), I'd felt pretty scared, and sad, and alone, and unsure about, well, everything. When we watched that video, and I saw Eureka I had a strong feeling of peace come over me.

I still don't know why I've come here to Eureka. Maybe I'll figure it out in the next 5 weeks, or possibly in 10 years, or maybe I'll never know the exact reason. But today I do know, and I've known on some level since I saw a picture of Eureka almost 3 months ago, that this is the place for me right now.

I know that just like Heavenly Father knows this is the place for me at this time, He know each one of us. Perfectly. He knows our strengths, our weaknesses, our needs and our desires. He has a plan for us and as we turn our will to His, He is going to be there for us and help us in ways we may not understand but which are ultimately for our greatest good. I know that sometimes we may feel like God isn't here because things are not going the way we want, but we have to remember what Nephi said in Nephi 1:1 "I Nephi... having seen many afflictions in the course of my days, nevertheless, having been highly favored of the Lord in all my days."1 This life is a time of trial and experiences, but as we are obedient and faithful the Lord will support and strengthens us through all things.

He knows you, He loves you, He is here for you. Turn to Him, for His arms are extended.2

2. Mosiah 29:20

Birthday Musings

I had my birthday on Tuesday, so I"m now one year older and (I hope) wiser too. Maybe because I just had my birthday, and I've now lived on earth for 22 years, I've been thinking a lot about earth-life. Why do we come to here? What is our purpose? I do know that we lived with God before and that we came to earth to become like Him; to get a physical body and to be tested 1.

To be tested? How does that work? God knows us perfectly, He knows what decisions we are going to make, and how we are going to turn out. Why do we need to be tested if God already knows what is going to happen?

I have thought about this a lot. And I think that it comes down to two things. First, we are tested so we can know for ourselves, and second, without the experiences of earth-life we would never become the people that we can be.

So- for the first part, yes, God knows what choices we will make but we are not all-knowing, so we don't. I think it is like when we were little kids and our parents would dish up our plate with food and sometimes they wouldn't put something on it and we would say "Hey, what about that raspberry pie?".  They would say "I know you, you don't like raspberries, so you are not going to like raspberry pie. You are just going to leave it on your plate and not eat it." They may have been perfectly correct but when they said that I always wanted it even more. Unless I had the pie on my plate and actually had the opportunity to eat it or not, I was never really sure if I would have. Our Heavenly Father knows, but we don't. We wont be able to stand before the judgment bar of God knowing that our Heavenly Father is sending us to the right place unless we are tested. We come to earth so we can know for ourselves and be able to "acknowledge... that all His judgements are just"2.

The second reason, I think, is the most important. Life is sometimes, even often, hard, difficult, and painful. It seems so unfair. Why would a loving God send us to such a place? Our Heavenly Father knows our potential, but we cannot reach that potential without the trails and growth that come from life. I will admit it, a mission is hard. You are away from friends, family, and the familiar, doing things that are not easy or natural, and working harder than you probably ever have before. But because it is so hard I think I have learned more and grown more in these last two-and-a-half months than I did in the previous two-and-a-half years. There is no way I could have not gone on my mission and had someone come to me and say, "So, if you would have gone on a mission you would have learned this, and gained that attribute, and you would know how to do such and such. Those things are all now a part of your character." I can't learn those lessons, get those attributes, or know how to do those things without having experiences where I learn, gain, or do something new. Before we came to earth we had grown as much as we could. We couldn't reach our potential and become the people our loving Heavenly Father knows we could become without the opportunity of coming to earth.

I guess what I am trying to say, is that I'm a little older today than I was last week and I might be a little bit wiser than I was too: but I've come to the conclusion that that is what life is. A time to get older, grow, learn, experience, and to prepare ourselves to once again meet God; with both Him, and now us, knowing who we are, who we have become, and who we can continue to become into the eternities.       

1. Preach My Gospel "Agency and the Fall of Adam and Eve p.49
2. Alma 12:15

No Good, Rotten, Bad Day

Some days are just crummy aren't they? I had one of those days on Friday; everything that could go wrong did. Appointments were cancelled, people we went to visit were not home, the lunch we were served was food I hate, shoes that are supposed to last a year and a half broke after a month and a half, everything reminded me of people and things I miss, and no mail. It just put me in a down mood. I wonder why we have to have days like that? Sometimes I just wish that everyday was one full of sunshine, homemade cookies, and unicorns. But not everyday is. I guess that if there was always perfection and no bad days to compare it with then I wouldn't appreciate the good when I had it. I think that is why I chose "That They Might Have Joy" as the title of my blog. Life can be hard and things can be sad or difficult and sometimes I get caught up in that. I want to always remember that God didn't put us, His children, here on earth to be unhappy. He wants the best things for us and promises that as we follow Him we can find joy on earth within our crazy/awful/boring/stressful/wonderful/etc days, and ultimate happiness in the life to come.

Adam fell that men might be; and men are, that they might have joy.- 2 Nephi 2:25

Sometimes there has to be darkness to better appreciate the light.